Another fight with my bestfriend. Shit. Between me, zee, baz, lisa and liyana, its always me and lisa to have an argument and then fight with each other. I'm not blaming her for any of this, I'm blaming myself, cause it was ME that got into a fight with fiif too, it was me that changed, it was me that's thinking negatively, it was me that made this small problem into something big. I'm the problem, me, me, and STUPID ME.
Session Start: Saturday, August 16, 2008
- chL - `AQ58 (ruqaiyah_7@hotmail.com)
leeys .hong's (lee.syy@hotmail.com)
(10:09 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
what did you told fiif?
(10:09 PM) leeys:
what?
(10:10 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
about ari..
(10:12 PM) leeys:
you and him are close?
(10:13 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
no
(10:13 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
you told her that aku curang arah nya
(10:13 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
and we dirty talked?
(10:13 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
ariff said, you told her, and she told mateen, and mateen told fiif
(10:13 PM) leeys:
what?
(10:13 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
you know about ari was something SUPPER private, and no one was supposed to know
(10:13 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
i got so pissed off when ariff told me that
(10:14 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
and i thought i could trust you to not tell anyone but our group, which is you, me, baz, zee, liyana.
(10:14 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
and fiif is NOT included
(10:14 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
you think kami sudah berbaik kami jadi bestfriends tarus?
(10:14 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
well, we are not.
(10:14 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
kami just friends.
(10:14 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
..
(10:14 PM) leeys:
wait.
(10:14 PM) leeys:
eh
(10:15 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
mateen told ariff*
(10:15 PM) leeys:
I DIDNT SAY KAU CURANGG.
(10:18 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
...
(10:18 PM) leeys:
what? seriously , apa kan? i dont understand? i asked fiifah. who told who?
(10:18 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
ariff said, mateen told him
(10:18 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
and iif told mateen
(10:18 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
and you told herrr
(10:19 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
who else knows about si ari, but you guys..
(10:19 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
:/
(10:21 PM) leeys:
bah , what did he say?
(10:21 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
whats you rnumber?
(10:21 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
i forward ariff's text
(10:22 PM) leeys:
-------
(10:23 PM) leeys:
banar qai. i swear i didnt ucp kau curangg. i told fiiif , kau and ari rapat saja. but idk if she said kau curang.
(10:23 PM) leeys:
thts all
(10:32 PM) leeys:
and its up to you. im not forcing you to believe me or not. just tell your boyfriend that thanks for saying aku cakap kau dirtty talkeed samaa si ari. allright? im done. BYE. goodnight.
(10:37 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
i believe you. i wanna believe you
(10:38 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
lisa, cuz you're my best friend
(10:38 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
but its just that
(10:38 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
i asked him balik balik, and he kept saying the same thing
(10:38 PM) leeys:
nvm. just dont. you know what , im so regret telling fiifs about you both rapat.
(10:38 PM) leeys:
because she asked me.
(10:38 PM) leeys:
how was qai
(10:38 PM) leeys:
so yeah i told her.
(10:38 PM) leeys:
but just that
(10:39 PM) leeys:
uhh. lett he be. keep saying.
(10:45 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
:/
(10:45 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
he says he's sorry
(10:45 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
and im saying im sorry too
(10:46 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
i'll fing out about this tomoro
(10:46 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
when mateen on
(10:46 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
at least
(10:46 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
*find
(10:47 PM) leeys:
uhh just dont say sorry unless youre sincere enough to say that.
(10:48 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
i ammm.
(10:48 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
i dont know anything about this
(10:48 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
tadi, i was having so much funnnn.
(10:48 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
then suddenly ariff sounded so, i dont know, like something was wrong
(10:48 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
he wanted to talk to me on the phone
(10:48 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
buta ku functio
(10:48 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
n*
(10:49 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
i HAD to go back home
(10:49 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
and elave my cuzens
(10:49 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
just to know whats all this about
(10:49 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
like hell
(10:49 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
i didnt know it would involve you
(10:49 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
as a matter of fact, i thought it was you i could turn to..
(10:49 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
:/
(10:49 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
but then, you rname was mentioned
(10:52 PM) leeys:
ohh whatever it is. im so tired aboutt this you know. how many times should i tell you, i just said that. you just text me when i was in a goood mood. now , it just gone like that.
(10:53 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
im sorry alrightt..
(10:53 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
i believe you.
(10:53 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
i believe that you said that
(10:53 PM) leeys:
pls dont say that
(10:53 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
but
(10:53 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
ish
(10:53 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
whatever then
(10:53 PM) - chL - `AQ58:
laters.
(10:53 PM) leeys:
bah bye
I know I'm stupid. I wasn't thinking alright. And I regret being mad at her so much..
Everyone saw her cry during PE just now, except ME. I put an act as if I don't care even though I didn't saw her cry, but I actually do. I do care. I wanted to talk to her but since she saw me cry yesterday and didn't care, AT ALL, so I decided to let her be. I might talk to her tomorrow before registeration if I had the guts to.
Liyana said she had enough problems with her boyfriend, and she also has problems at home. And I'm here just to cause MORE. I feel like stabbing myself with something that's sharp. I know, ITS EMO AND I DONT CARE. I wanna scream, I wanna shout out to the world, I wanna cry more than anything right now.. How could I have the heart to do this eh? Why issit that I am too stupid to even think? School was all she had, friends, her bestfriends was all she had left, and I RUINED IT ALL. Why am I doing this? I know I should talk to her and settle this, but what she said, 'dont say sorry unless its sincere'. She won't forgive me, she obviously won't forgive me.. I don't want us to break apart, lisaaa,, :'/ You're my bestfrienddd bwaaaah.. *sobs..
I'm seriously shaking.. :'/ I wanna cryyy. CRY THIS OUT. But I know this would stay..
